picking up where i left off.
i can’t even count how many valentine’s day recap posts i have read today! i think that blog world loves valentine’s day even more than thanksgiving or christmas. or at least that’s what it seems like from all the fun, lovely and cute posts.
i will try to keep the details from my valentine’s day celebration short. as i mentioned, marshall & i don’t make a big to-do about the holiday. but we do have one tradition: marshall makes me tacos.
he has a big plate of tacos and i have a big taco salad. this was our third year (and third different kitchen!) doing this. it was actually our fourth valentine’s day together. the first year we were dating, we did the whole cliché thing. nice dinner out to a super expensive restaurant, chocolate fondue and really pricey, nice gifts for each other. after one valentine’s day like that, we realized it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and have been eating tacos ever since. fine by me!
i did get marshall a pair of sanuks.. not for valentine’s day necessarily, but it was a good reason to get them. i’d been meaning to buy him a black pair ever since he told me how much he likes his multicolored pair.
what is really exciting is what he got for me. a card. just a card. but it’s what the card said that is the best thing ever. “hair goes to heaven in 2011”—with a little note saying that he will shave his face any time i ask him to for a WHOLE YEAR. someone pinch me.. i’m dreaming. i hate scratchy facial hair. he hates shaving. you guys, this is true love.
this shouldn’t come as a shock: i made homemade oreo (newmanO) ice cream for dessert.
i swear i am going to try making healthy ice cream with my ice cream maker. sometime soon. maybe. in the meantime, ben & jerry’s recipe for cookies & cream ice cream is fine by me!
we ended up falling asleep on the couch last night. this happens a lot, but we usually meander into the bedroom after about an hour of what i call “couch sleep”. i don’t think couch sleep is equal to real (bed) sleep. you just aren’t as rested after couch sleep. but, get this, we never ended up going to our bed! ughh.. 7 hours of couch sleep later and i felt like i’d been up all night. don’t ask me why i didn’t bother to get up and go to my bed. i am still asking myself the same question.
ANYWAY—love crunch giveaway winner=#61!
congratulations, please send me your mailing address so i can sent you your love crunch!
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i realize my memory is not the best. if you have been reading my blog for awhile, you probably realize this, too. i say i am going to post about something and then TOTALLY space it. it isn’t that i am flaky, just forgetful.
this time, however, i am not flaky OR forgetful. i have just been on vacation and had to recap my trip! that is my excuse and i’m sticking to it. oh, are you wondering what i am even talking about?
remember when i started the 30 day challenge? yeah. i left off on number four and high tailed it to mexico. i am back, caught up and ready to pick back up where i left off. it may not be a 30 day challenge, but you can bet i will make it through the challenge.. eventually.
number 5: talk about a time you thought about ending your own life.
this is a topic i try not to think about too often. i am past the bad experiences in my life that made me want to kill myself and i figure those thoughts are best left alone. but, a challenge is a challenge, so i will ramble a little bit about the topic.
beginning in jr high and continuing into high school, i was friends with a group of about 10 girls. we were all really close friends and hung out all the time. i considered these girls my very best friends! in fact, my current best friend, kristen, was one of them. we go way back. here is a photo of us in jr. high for your viewing pleasure:
my house was a popular hangout. two of our guy friends lived directly next door to me and so our houses were kind of the meeting ground for us to hang out. we couldn’t drive, so we usually just sat in someone’s basement or in adjoining backyards. plus, momma b always stocked our house with tons of good snacks. what can i say, my house was fun and we were ALWAYS there. me and my very best girl friends. and our guy friends, of course.
anyway, i am not sure what led up to this, but in 9th grade (and part of 10th) i became the victim of being bullied. not by other peers.. but by some of these girls who i considered my best friends. they just started being really mean to me. i had NO idea why. maybe it was because of the funky pointing thing i am doing in this photo?
by the way, this was at a sleepover and i was in pajamas.. i didn’t wear oversized men’s fila Tshirts aside from pajama time.
every day was like hell.. i can’t recount every example but here are a few things they did:
- verbally put me down any chance that came up
- buried my new dr. marten sandals deep into the mud (at a sleepover)
- put gum in my hair (at a sleepover)
- constantly made fun of the mole on my nose (i had it removed at the age of 18—that is a story for another day)
- constantly left me out of inside jokes and said them around me all the time
- someone peed in a bottle of coke and it was passed off to me to drink, i didn’t know it had been peed in until someone told me.. yeah, gross
- wrote “we hate you, DIE” on my bedroom window in shaving cream
the last one is probably the worst. even worse than the pee/coke thing. i will never be able to erase the mental image i have from seeing that written on my window. ew, i can’t even think about it. this was so hard for me to handle! kristen and a few of the other girls (one even reads my blog—hi kristin!) weren’t a part of the bullying, but it surprised me to know that my so called “best friends” had been doing these things to me. there was a ringleader, sara, who.. for SOME unknown reason.. had power over our other friends. she was popular and apparently people would just do what she told them to do.. even at the expense of my feelings.
ugh, this is shitty to think about and to write about.
so, i tried to kill myself. hmm.. i don’t think i have ever typed that out. i thought about it for a long time and wrote my feelings in a notebook. i even left individual notes to people for them to see after i was gone. i researched ways to do it and i eventually decided the best thing to do was try to drown myself in the bathtub. oh my gosh, that sounds horrible, what was i thinking?! clearly, i wasn’t. i was a mentally abused teenager who believed there was nothing to live for and life was totally over.
good thing i am a wuss, because i didn’t go through with anything. it was too scary and hard! i wanted to be dead but i didn’t want to do the deed. if that makes sense. i didn’t kill myself but i also became super depressed. because of the extreme amount of bullying that i endured, i believed i was worthless. who would want to spend time being my friend? yes, i was still friends with the girls who were in our tight circle but didn’t participate in the bullying, but THEY were friends with the mean girls (as i call them) and so it created quite a conflict of interest.
as i got older, i made other girl friends in high school and stopped hanging out with the other girls for the most part. we still were always around each other, but i just felt like crap whenever i was around them. especially the ringleader. oh, she was so mean. i can’t even imagine why she ever wanted to be so mean. i mean, why? what’s the use?
sorry this recollection is a little random and blurry. i think the drugs i did in my younger years have fogged my memory a tad. no, seriously.. my memory sucks. but you get the gist of what i went through.
i am so glad i was able to make other friends, REAL friends, (and keep the old ones who are still near and dear to me—just not the mean ones) and move on from the whole horrible experience. i learned a lot about life. even though i had to shed a lot of tears and think a lot of negative things about myself, i got through it. and came out a stronger person because of it. for sure.
and now i love my life. i still deal with drama among friends, but i have grown up enough to know that while growing apart from close friends sucks A LOT, it is not worth killing yourself over.
sure am glad i made it through my teenage years.
i sometimes wonder what those girls think of how they treated me. i wonder if they know what they did to my head. i know most of them have children of their own now.. i hope they teach their children to be kind to everyone and not do any of the horrible things they did when they were younger.
what i want to end this with is a request. PLEASE make an effort to be nice to everyone you talk to.. every day. you never know if someone is experiencing bullying or what their personal life is like. and one negative comment could set them right over the edge to do something drastic. i try to be nice to everyone and be friends with everyone. life’s just better that way.
whew. that was heavy. i need some ice cream.
Qs~
1. i am not going to ask you to tell me a time you wanted to kill yourself.. BUT, i do want to hear if you have any experience with bullying? have you ever had to deal with it in any way? i bet a few bloggie teachers have dealt with it! hopefully none of you were victims of it like i was. feel free to chime in with anything you want to say!
2. how do you feel about facial hair? i don’t mind how it looks.. but i hate kissing marshall’s scruffy face. (of course, that doesn’t stop me!)
meals & moves 
ugh….girls can be so mean. For real. Its unbelievable how many women I know have been bullied by their so called friends.
On a lighter note- WHAT a dinner! That is an ideal valentine’s day dinner in my mind. Great job Marshall! And a fabulous present too! I actually like it when Josh gets a little shaggy, but it drives him nuts.
Much <3 to you!
I hate facial hair–especially mustaches. My husband actually shaved his stache off for me as a Vday gift! It made me ridiculously happy–he’s been growing it since Christmas and it was so itchy and… yuck.
so funny that the gifts we got didn’t cost a dime but meant the world to us, no? love that!
I’d been begging him to PLEASE shave it for weeks and weeks and he kept torturing me and saying he was going to grow handlebars (sidenote–the only ppl who like handlebar mustaches are other men). Then, when I least expected it, it was gone. :)
I went through a similar experience, except it was 8th grade, and ALL my friends turned on me. The ones who weren’t outright making fun of me just flat our ignored me. The ring leaders encouraged everyone in our grade to ignore me. And I had no idea what I did wrong. I just came to school one day and didn’t have any friends.
It was really, really lonely.
I started eating lunch with two sixth graders. They were the only people in my small school who didn’t decide to hate me. I had a great time with them that year, but, yeah, still a very lonely year.
Thankfully, high school came next, and with it, friends who weren’t in my grade. My high school friends were pretty awesome. They were the kooky kids, so no matter what I did, they loved me.
But, yeah, 8th grade was pretty awful. That was the year I would intentionally sit in detention during lunch so I could read, and no one could interrupt me or talk to me.
i don’t mind facial hair, on my bf i think its sexay! but i dont care for the scratchiness.. darn.
i love your vday tradition, sounds fab.
I can’t stand facial hair. It works on some guys though. Just not my husband!
You blow me away with these posts. I admire your raw and fearless honesty. I used to be bullied too (who wasn’t?!) I remember the neighbor boys always calling me a dog. They would stand at the bus stop and bark until the bus came. It’s funny how these things stick with us forever.
I think I had the same frienemies. I never actually made a plan, just didn’t want to wake up one morning. Thanks for posting about this. Thank you for your honesty. And thank you for still being here.
I had a really similar experience in middle school. It is also painful for me to think about, even though its been over ten years. Girls were horrible. This was just when the internet was starting to get popular, and this one girl made websites (I think they were livejournal pages or the original blog type things). She devoted the websites to talking about me, how everyone hated me, called me a million different names, told me that I was worthless and should do the world a favor and kill myself…it was really damaging to an insecure tween, as I’m sure it would be quite hurtful and damaging to anyone. But especially at that age, when all you want is to be liked and accepted…and you feel so insecure already. It was devastating.
Anyway, you are really brave to share your story. I’m sure a lot of people can relate. I certainly can, even though I never really talk about it. It’s amazing how hurtful words stick with you.
I thank God I never had an experience like that and I am truly sorry you ever had to deal with it. I was more like that kid who everyone was pleasant to, but didn’t really get to know…I was very shy. But you know, I vividly remember one of my friends being driven from my Catholic school. After her 6th grade year, she transferred to public school because a group of girls were so incredibly mean. It’s hard to believe that this kind of treatment is some sort of twisted accepted tween/teen culture.
I really enjoyed reading such an honest post. It helps give me the courage to write about a few things that I want to share, but keep chickening out, afraid that somehow the real me won’t be as likeable once posted for all of blog world to see.
gosh janetha, I am so sorry you went through this. But I am so glad that you are strong and knew that your life is precious. You know why? Because you are amazing and I am so honored to have you in my “blog” life. Its people like you bring good to light even in the depth of darkness. Thanks for sharing dear friend.
LC
p.s.
Hope Marshall enjoys his sanuks. yea!
You seem like such an amazing person, I cant imagine that anyone would ever want to bully you. I love reading your blog everyday and I am happy you are alive and well!
I’m sorry you had to deal with all of that. I know how awful bullying can be – I was constantly bullied throughout school for being obese. It’s hard. Very, very hard.
I LOVE facial hair; I think it’s so sexy.
Andy loves his sanuks! I want to find a girly pair but they only sell men’s near us. Annoying!
I want you to make me ice cream. I have been so lazy with mine. I need to try out some of the Ben and Jerry’s flavors.
Reading this makes me wish that we lived in the same city, I know we’d be good friends. I went through a tough time with bullying too and it was horrible. I never want to see any of my students or my own kids go through that. I had a boyfriend and his friends tease me about my weight all of the time. Ugh. Even remembering it makes me feel sick.
I try to talk to my students about this all of the time. Especially when I was working at the middle school level. It’s scary out there.
Love you!
I totally love how open youve become since this 30 day challenge!
Suicide is no easy subject. In many ways, I was like you and wanted to die but never actually “do the deed”. Enter my eating disorder: it was a slow way to kill myself, without outright doing it.
Anyhow, about bulling, I was never really a victim, but I do know of people that were severely scarred by it and by hazing! Thats why I never even touched sorority houses when I got to college! In many ways, I think my eating disorder bullied me. No pee /coke was involved, but it for sure wanted me dead. Good thing I got some balls and bullied it right back.
I’m not a huge fan of facial hair. Although cute, I would not want to kiss a porcupine.
I had two bullying periods in my life. One was in middle school, same thing… my “best friends” were tearing me down behind my back, stealing my CDs, earrings, a cocker spaniel figurine my mom got for me (wtf?), leaving notes where I could find them about how much they hated me… they had a whole notebook about it that I found later on. At such a vulnerable period in my life, I couldn’t figure out what I had done wrong… and that’s just it, I didn’t do anything “wrong.” They were just horrible girls.
And then in high school I was subjected to bullying again, and I will never understand this. This girl stole my boyfriend from me, and then proceeded to make my life hell. She had the guy, and yet still felt some sick need to torture me, including me coming out to my car one day after school to have bitch, slut, and c*nt written all over the windows in shoe polish. Other girls I didn’t even know would tell me what a skank and a whore I was when they passed by me in the hallways. It was insanity.
What really kills me is these girls probably don’t even ever think about me anymore, which is fine… but I have these memories etched in my brain for eternity… vividly. And to anyone who didn’t know better, these were “good” kids. What drives young girls to be so WRONG to each other? It’s heartbreaking.
I hear ya on the drug/memory thing. Good LORD my memory sucks monkey balls. Drugs are bad, mmkay?
And I too hate facial hair. No fun for snuggles. Thank god Alex has actually been keeping the beastly facial hair tamed more often as of late. Smooth face kisses make me happy lady.
For what it’s worth, you’re one of my favorites <3
Oh, girl – that was so brave of you to post and my heart hurts that you had to go through with that. Jr high and high school girls can be plain evil. I can’t imagine why ANYONE would want to be mean to YOU.
Poor sweet Janetha Bean. Remind me that you get an extra long hug when I see you.
I was fortunate enough to go to a really small school where everyone was pretty much accepted. There may be others who have their own stories, but I just don’t think there was bullying. I do remember this girl just being really mean and spreading lies about some of us to the new foreign exchange student, but that was about it.
That’s not to say I haven’t totally been betrayed by women I was friends with.
For the most part I’m nice to everyone, but I had to get tough on my neighbor today because she and her dog are bullying the neighborhood. I called Animal Control, and it was not pretty.
Chris had a beard from our first snow in November through Superbowl. It looked hot on him, and I got kinda used to it but I’m glad he finally shaved it off. :)
We feel the same way about V-Day. Chris gave me a card that made me cry even though someone else had written all the words. I gave him a bug zapping tennis racquet that we could have used on our last camping trip. We ate Domino’s. Maybe in 2 years for our 15th V-day, we’ll go crazy!
Kids can be so cruel. I just don’t get it. I mean, I did my fair share of making fun of people and had my fair share of being made fun of… but to torture someone, who was your friend, for no reason… terrible! :(
Whoa that was hard and caused reflection and tears…..I loved you then and I love you now! You have really risen above the crowd and I’m so proud of you!
Yes I was treated like crap made fun of, not invited to parties or invited but told the wrong day and time, had chairs pulled out from under me etc etc…. it was hell but I made it through with the help of my big brother who always believed in me and reminded me I was of worth!!
My dad had a mustache that tickled me when he kissed me good night! Now I just like to look at facial hair haha! xo
Can I get that entire meal please? Thanks.
I love facial hair on men but then again, I am a hippie on the inside so thats why. On women, not so much. I’m Italian and am dreading the day I find someone on my face. It’ll ruin the money maker!
And yeah, I need to catch up on that challenge!
Im sorry you went through that.
Jason always tries to grow a goatee and I hate it! His facial hair grows really fast and he’s lazy, so the goatee makes an appearance way more than I’d like.
Thanks for sharing this! Quite the experience, it’s hard to imagine why anyone would want to be so mean, but it’s nice to look back and think that in retrospect, life is about so much more than those teenage years. I suppose I was lucky to not have experienced serious bullying, not that I was immune to teenage depression at all.
On a lighter note – the facial hair gift is awesome!!! I hate facial hair, it’s scratchy! My man also doesn’t groom his if it grows out, aside from a trim or two near his lips. I appreciate expertly groomed minimal facial hair, but it’s like full on lumberjack or nothing with him! :P Thankfully he shaves at least every few days, minus the one time a year he grows out a full beard for his trip to Wisconsin with his boys. Men… sigh. haha ;)
Oh my word. What a touching story…I try so hard to teach the kiddos in my class to be kind to each other because I know how far bullying can go. I was also bullied in middle school and I used to sit in my garage and cry to my mom that I wanted to kill myself after school almost every day. It was so miserable, and I wish people didn’t have to go though crap like that. But in the end, I’m sure I’m a stronger person and I can pass the lessons I learned on to the kiddos in my class.
I like a little scruff. :-)
i was bullied a lot when i was in elementary school. i went to a really small catholic school (6 students in my 6th grade class) and all of a sudden, they decided that they didn’t like me. they teased me and wouldn’t be my friend anymore. honestly, i’m not even friends with any of them anymore. i literally cried every day of 6th grade. it was horrible.
thankfully, i changed schools after that year and made some real friends who i am still close with today!
Serious props for putting this out there for everyone to see. It must have been hard to have to “re-live” it in a way to be able to type it out. I think it’s important though for other people who may be in that position right now to see that life does go on. Some of my closest girl friends bullied me in high school as well, not quite to the extent of what you went through, but they still made me feel like the odd girl out of our “group.” It truly does feel like the end of the world when even your closest friends are making jokes at your expense. I think when someone who is going through that right now reads this post of yours and sees how extremely happy you are years later it will help them to see there is plenty to live for. Great post!
I hate facial hair too!! my hubs has to shave everyday or else…
Girls can be ridiculous.. I bet that sara girl is an oober now.. thats what the mean/popular girls are now that were “cool” in jr. high.. I was teased/bullied everyday why? because I had no boobs. ya. w.t.h? well, now their fake and fabulous. enough said. ;)
People say to blow them off and not let them get to you, but its hard.. ok.. its impossible. Words hurt almost more then actions.
loves xoxo
I have never been bullied but I am a high school teacher, so I encounter a lot. I do what I can–I make my classroom a “safe area”, no one picks on anyone else and breed a great group dynamic in there so everyone feels comfortable.
After the recent rash of suicides, Ive also taken to making sure I say at least one thing to EVERY single one of my students, every day. Asking them how there day is going/how a test was/what theyre doing that weekend. Something, so they know someone genuinely cares about them even if they dont.
I also give them sappy talks about how I love them all as people and consider them my peeps and hope they will come talk to me if they have a problem!
(PS I am a math teacher–so they probably think I am crazy for being so involved with them!)
Phew–I ended up writing way more than I intended to about the subject, but its something I feel really strongly about!
first, “we realized it isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and have been eating tacos ever since. fine by me!”–totally on the same page
I have been doing the challenge, too. About 2x/week and totally out of order, but it’s been fun.
I am honored to read the topic you chose today…major props for posting about this and for being so honest, real, and open. Thank you.
I was the victim of extreme bullying in school. To the point that I switched high schools. Lots more to the story there too but one reason i switched was b/c of bullying. I never really contemplated taking my own life but I was depressed beyond all recognition.
I should probably post about it on my own site but I don’t have the courage you do to air it ALL out there.
You’re amazing :)
I was bullied from 4 years old to 10th grade– even a bit in 11th. I’m a senior in high school now, and I have to tell you… the bullying is what triggered my eating disorder. Boys would taunt me about being chunky, a nerd, my birthmark, and whatever else they could get their mealy hands on. Yet, I’m grateful for it though. It taught me a whole lot about life, about exercise! (because in order to combat that eating disorder i found Healthy Living Blogs and stuff like Zumba and ellipticalling and etc as well as strength training <3), and about how to cope. I'm almost through the end of my eating disorder, and I know that I found myself throughout the process. I choose to be thankful for what the bullies did to me, not the other way around.
Thanks for sharing this story…..and for sharing quite a few personal details lately. I absolutely LOVE reading blogs but sometimes I find myself feeling negative about my life because I compare it to the “perfect” lives that I read about in blogs. It is so refreshing to see that everybody has their ups and downs and that, no matter how bad life may seem, something so much better is around the corner. I hate mean girls and I am sure they just do it all out of their own insecurities. You have Marshall now and the pups and your life now does appear to be pretty wonderful so your happiness is the best revenge!!!
Janetha. This is such a heavy post. I am sure you feel a lot better after writing it and I feel better that I am not alone! I think every group of tweens/teens has a “ring leader”. In 7th grade, I was just like every other girl, awkward and all, and then I grew 5 inches. I was 5’9” and wore a 25″ inseam! I was the epitome of awkward. Anyway, I decide to chop my hair off. I had a picture of how I wanted it to look, but it didn’t exactly turn out that way. I was literally tormented by EVERYONE in my class. And the classes around me! I pretended to be injured during track season because I didn’t want to be around all the mean kids. The one name that sticks out….and I’m totally embarrassed to say this… was, “penis head”. Seriously, who comes up with that? It was so hurtful and everyone joined in to torment me. I had friends who still “stuck up for me” in front of my face, but still talked crap behind my back. I was so grateful when I went to high school and was able to meet an entire new group of friends who loved me for me!
Sorry for the novel, I know you have a bunch to read! Oh and I hate facial hair. I even think my bf looks better when he doesn’t have any at all…..mostly because his doesn’t even grow in evenly ;)
Oh my God, Janetha. I had no idea you had such a past…I’m so sorry for your horrible experience…dang, some girls can be such bitches…and they don’t realize the repercussion of it, and how much it hurts people. But you know what? Look at you now. The Janetha I know is fun, spunky, glamorous, beloved by all, and damn HOT!!!!! I’m proud of who you are!!! And don’t you ever be less proud about yourself too, my fine girl!
I’ve also had suicides thoughts…I recently wrote about it here, actually: http://www.burpandslurp.com/2011/02/13/weekend-ed-series-my-ed-twin/
1. Oh Janetha, I am so sorry to hear about your experiences with being bullied. Unfortunately, I’ve often wanted to kill myself. (Wow, I don’t think I’ve actually ever admitted that). These thoughts began when I was the fat girl in elementary school (you can imagine how that went), but then they only increased when I developed anorexia. Depression follows you, no matter what size you are, apparently.
Anyway, this is all to say: thanks for being honest about this topic, and you’re not alone.
2. I like a little bit of scruff or clean-shaven, but no beards, please!
My father committed suicide in October. He hung himself in his bedroom. I’ve never experienced a moment in which I felt like I wanted to take my life, largely because I am truly afraid of physical pain, but hearing what happens in your mind and leads you to think about it is cathartic for me. I have so many questions. And, for me, this was good to read. Good to cry over. Just one more step in grieving and trying to understand. Thank you for being brave.
Facial hair tickles my neck and that makes me laugh right now. I also have to say I am taking sewing lessons with my 9 yr old in our home…today we had to measure and cut the crotch of sleep pants….my daughter had me in giggles saying crotch! ok hope that makes you smile too.
Bully…oh KUnger could tell you my take on this…I get FURIOUS…take you out as a MOTHER mad. We have the pretty girl next door, long hair, pretty skin, clothes galore…her parents paid for it all…NOT bankruptcy, 7 liens, blah blah…in nice area of town. Anyway that lil girl left my daughter out of games, fun things, etc…they were 7 yrs old and the bully was FIVE FIVE FIVE! The last straw was she told my red headed, fair skinned, love kissed daughter that she was Weird b/c she had red hair! That put me over the top and I basically took the mother out when she would not leave my yard….ok I didn’t deck her but I told her off and she kept pushing my buttons…I responded well we all know where your daughter learned her tricks. Good luck with parenting that child….now do not ever come in my yard and I shall not speak to you again…done, written off, the end. It has worked and now the whole area figured out on their own that this kid is a brat and bully. My daughter is tough and a good girl! I am sorry you were treated this way…if you run into Sara you should confront her….it might help her.
oh man, that is a sad story for sure. i am sorry that such terrible things happened to you. as a mom i would be so horrified to find out that my kids ever did something so mean and vicious. i only have boys and thank goodness that isn’t the way boys take care of things.
i was never bullied. there was a skinny hood-rat girl that wanted to beat me up in high school, but then i laughed at her and said i could sit on her and she wouldn’t be able to beat me up anymore , then she transfered out of class!! i did have a little brother that was bullied alot though. he was so cute and sweet, and for some reason a group of boys in our ward just started picking on him. i’m 10 years older than him but you better beleive i cussed out those punk kids on many occasions. it truly breaks my heart to even think about someone doing that to one of my boys. i swear i will go ape sh** on them!
on a lighter note. valentines taco dinner is awesome! if i didn’t make heart shaped pizzas i would consider it, cause any time is taco time!
I could of wrote that.
Was bullied to the point of psychiatric intervention. That was after the first suicide attempt.
I was very portly, had terrible skin, and liked different things (horses, books, ect).
Apparently that makes you enemy number one in middle school.
I’m so very glad you are a wuss.
When the girls are tweens, can you come talk to them. You will be their cool Aunt J and they will listen to you. You really can use all these experiences to help others. You already are.
PS I am have tons of moles. We call them angel kisses.
A small amount of scruff is sexy, but there is a point where it is itchy and not fun to kiss… I am mostly a fan of a clean shave though :)
When I was 13, my family moved from Minneapolis, Minnesota to a small town in Nebraska. From day one, I was made fun of by some of the cattiest girls I have ever met. And they made fun of everything. My clothes, my accent, you name it. I cried nearly every day once I got home from school. Luckily for me, when I went to high school, I met new people. And yeah, we didn’t always get along, but it was never like it was in jr high.
I did not speak to many of those girls after we went to high school, and don’t really speak to any of them any more. Being 13 and moving to a new state is hard enough, without those bitches (sorry for the profanity, but they were) teasing me every day. It still hurts to think about it to this day, and that was nearly 15 years ago. Wow.
Janetha, your whole childhood is so bewildering to read about! I didn’t experience much bullying growing up, but I DID have a really bitchy friend. She was always picking fights about the stupidest things, and I would just have to wait until she decided that the ice had melted. When she started bringing some of her friends (not mine) into her fights with me senior year of high school, I put my foot down and broke up with her. I smile now remembering how boyfriend-like my statement of “I don’t think our friendship is worth it anymore” was! She’s still the friend (and roommate) of one of my other best friends, but thankfully we all work around each other, and that other best friend is almost and the end of her rope too. It blows my mind to think that that was less than 4 years ago! College has been much less complicated in that arena.
And about beards. I love them! Really, I don’t like boys without at least a bit of stubble. Teehee :)
I got bullied a lot in junior high, too… Because I had really bad cystic acne. It wasn’t even something I could control, but groups of kids would surround me and yell mean things at me to the point that I started refusing to go to school. As usual, there was a ringleader, and her name was Ashley Mansur – also ‘popular’.
The best part was that the next year I decided to dress different in an attempt to scare them off so that they’d stop bullying me…I also went on the acne miracle drug: Accutane. Then, the most glorious thing happened – THEY got acne! Oh what a joyous day that was!
I ended up going to boarding school because junior high did such a number on me, and I am eternally grateful for that experience. Cliques don’t have room to exist when your school is only 150 people across 4 grades. I actually ended up on student council, honor roll, and playing varsity tennis.
If I ever have kids, I plan on sending them to boarding school, just like me, because it is awesome!!! :)
Such an honest post. Thank you for sharing.
I have a few stories of my own, bullying, etc. but none that I am brave enough to reveal on my blog.
You are an amazing and beautiful person. I’m glad you have someone that realizes how amazing you are and makes you tacos :)
Hey! I’ve been a long time reader but never comment! I appreciate your honesty in all posts but these challenging topics as well! So sorry you had to go through that BUT so happy you were able to get passed it! I admire your strength and courage…LOVE your attitude in general! Have a great day girl!
Katie : )
first, what a coool gift from marshall!! wow, so creative, and a real shaving commitment for him to do!! what a sweet idea.
love your taco/salad tradition. thumbs up for making your own traditions.
thanks so much for sharing about the bullying – i give you so much credit for being so open and honest. girls can be so mean…sorry you had to go through that. but i get the sense that you are so caring with the friends in your life NOW; you learned from the experience.
have a great wednesday!
oh this post broke my heart. i just don’t understand bullying.
but…onto the Valentine Tacos. I love it. And Marshall’s gift to you is TRUE love. And now I want B&J oreo ice cream for breakfast.
I am so sorry that you had to go through all of this. People can be so hurtful and mean. It’s really awful. I don’t know how you could do that to another person. You are such an incredibly brave and strong person. I really enjoy reading your blog and I love how open you are with your readers. :)
I am not a fan of facial hair at all. I hate when my boyfriend hasn’t shaved for a while and gets scruffy! It hurts to kiss him but I do it anyway. The best is right after he has just shaven his face. It’s so soft :)
first of all, thank you for sharing…that had to be hard, but the thing is you’re happy now and SO loved! even by people who’ve never met you!
nate has a full-on beard….it all started one year when we went to visit family and he forgot to bring a razor. and he just never shaved again! i don’t mind it, as long as he keeps it short, but i think it’s super sexy when he shaves all the way!
Oh my goodness! That is seriously awful. I had similar (not as extreme) experiences in middle school which made me feel pretty bad about myself. I’m glad you were able to get through girl, you are truely inspirational.
when i started a new school in 4th grade, i was teased a lot by the “popular” girls because of what i wore and how i looked. i was a tomboy and had shorter hair. my mom struggled to take care of my brother and me, so we had Goodwill/hand-me-down clothes. it was awful. when i got older, it didn’t stop. i was bullied through about 9th grade. totally sucked.
my BF has facial hair. i love it, he looks so handsome! i also like when he shaves though too. it doesn’t bother me either way to kiss him except after he starts growing his beard back and i’m not used to it.
What a terrible experience for you. Girls are SO mean! I went through a lot of bullying in my younger years and thankfully I came out of it stronger, but I do remember many days thinking I was better off dead than dealing with the constant mean remarks. SO glad you came out of it strong as well! Thanks for sharing your story.
As for facial hair… N has a little goatee, which is cool, but any more and I HATE it! hah.
xo
Sounds like we had the same Jr. High experience at the SAME Jr High! Only mine was with the cheerleaders and we were all mean to eachother ALL the time.. it was truly horrible.. Actually as a side note… I think Kristin cheered with me!!? haha.. ask her about it.. I feel your pain. But it is nice to be somewhat grown-up now and see life much more clearly. You’ve become such an amazing woman! So proud to know ya!
xoxo
Morgs
wow. I’m blown away by this. I’m so sorry you went through this. I think the only explanation why this is, is that the bullies themselves are bullied at home. It’s a vicious, sad cycle. I wasn’t bullied per se, but there was a girl in 7th grade who didn’t like me and made it known. I was lonely sometimes, but always had my sister.
I used to have a chip on my shoulder and be bitchy all the time, then I realised…that I was a bitch all the time and need to cut the crap. You never know what people are going through in their lives, so smiling and being nice to someone could be the highlight of their day. I keep this in mind and it’s really made me a happier person.
I like facial hair! The longer it is, the less scratchy it is. I got scratch marks on my upper lip from my new man pal, and he was “clean” shaven. The kid grows a 5 o’clock shadow at like noon time.
Oh my god, I love facial hair on a man. EXTREME! has scruff and it’s extremely sexy.
This post brought up so many bad memories. I went through the exact same thing with a group of girls. They wrote about me in permanent black marker in our high school bathroom. It covered an entire stall and wasn’t painted over until my mom went in and threatened the school with a lawsuit. Those girls made my life hell every day of my sophmore year. I would skip school to avoid them. It was torture.
This broke my heart Janetha! I am so sorry you went through that. You are such a strong, sweet and fun person now and I’m so glad you conquered those hard times. I have never understood mean people. I hate it. Hate it!
I was bullied a lot in school also, pretty much all the way through for varying reasons. When I was in grade school it was because I had big glasses and big teeth and didn’t know how to dress myself. There was one mean girl that made me cry every day and I was terrified of her. But then as I got older it got so much worse. I grew out of my awkward phase, got attention from boys and the mean girls came rushing at me. There were new rumors about who I’d done what with during EVERY class I went to, even though I was a virgin all through high school and had never even seen a naked man! On weekends, I stayed home to avoid drama and all the kids out drinking would call my house and leave hate messages and cuss out my parents. It was awful. I cried all the time. I was also bullied because my parents had money and people hated me for it. I spent every single day of school in that town just waiting to get out. Ugh, that was miserable. The worst part was that our town was so small I was still considered part of the “popular crowd” and resorted to being friends with people who used to/still were mean to me just so I could have some social interaction. That was so stupid of me. It all felt so fake and empty. Hated hated hated it.
LOOOVE YOU!
Facial hair doesn’t bother me if it’s clean :)
That is love!!! What an awesome gift. I hate facial hair too. Peter actually used to have this goatee thing going on. I jokingly told him I wouldn’t marry him if he kept it. It hasn’t come back since. LOL
Wow I’m so sorry you had to go through all that! I’ve seen some bullying in my day but never anything like what you experienced – peeing in your drink and writing that awful message on your window? That’s truly, truly awful. I wonder if those “friends” ever think about what they did and regret it? Girls are just so awful to each other when they’re that age. If/When I have kids I really hope I have boys! :)
And my boyfriend has a goatee (minus the mustache part…not sure what that’s called) and I don’t mind it too much – but when he lets the rest of his face get stubble-y I get irritated.
Wow, thanks for sharing your story. This hits close to home since I have a 9 year old and know he’s about to start reaching the “I want to fit in” phase………scares the begeezes out of me.
wow this is quite a story. thank you for posting about it and telling us what you’ve been through. i too have had moments.. too close with one moment in particular that haunts my mind when i was in college, but i was going through some rough shit at the time. kids can be so cruel, and i was bullyed from 10-13 by one group of boys that just would.not.stop. i would come home crying and hating myself and how i looked, and i had horrible insecurities about my image for YEARS. awful. then my current boy came around and wouldn’t shut up about everything he loves about me ;) i actually really like when he has a beard- once it gets past that scruffy phase where it hurts when he kisses me, then it gets soft when he leaves it at a certain length (not too long or too short). now he has to shave it for work and i miss it- it looks sooo good on him!
I was bullied horribly in middle school. I was a very awkward pre-teen…going through a growth spurt before 6th grade…hitting 5’8″ and weighing only 95lbs..I wore different clothes then everyone else and didn’t have many friends because I spent most of my time in dance classes when not at school. I had my books knocked out of the hands on a daily basis (we weren’t allowed to carry backpacks in school)..these same girls would follow me home and not allow me to take the short cut through the high school and the long way was not that safe. I cried everyday during 6th and 7th grade after school. I told my parents and all my mother would say is …”they are just jeslous, don’t pay them any attention.” but how can you not pay them any attention when they cause so much pain to a 6th grader.
After 7th grade, we moved. I decided to reinvent myself. I became a mean girl. I look back now and feel horrible the way I treated certain people. I know that it was due to my own insecurities and can look at it now and realize that I was that way because I thought I wouldn’t be accepted.
I am very protective of my children now. My son was experiencing some bullying…in Kindergarten at that..and I was the first up to the school. I will not allow my son to feel what I felt and do nothing about it. I try to teach my children to be nice to everyone and to be thier largest advocate. Bullying is horrible on both sides and I feel that as a parent it is our job to stop it.
I am so happy that you were a wuss…
Thankfully I never had an issues with bullying but it amazes me how prevalent it seems to have been. I was clueless about bullying. I never bullied anyone nor was ever the victim of it. It makes me sad that people (like you) had to go through something so awful and so mean and it makes me sad that the girls doing the bullying were obviously so insecure about themselves that they felt this was the only way to make themselves feel better. Lately I feel like bullying is all over the news with people killing themselves over it and it just breaks my heart how mean kids can be.
i am so glad you are back to regular blogging and the challenge! thank you for opening up and sharing so much during this challenge, it is very inspiring to hear you talk about your past the way you do.
for about 2 years i was friends with a girl named kristin, she had just had a baby and was a single mom. we hung out a lot and i baby sat for her regularly. about 6 months ago i asked her to go to lunch with me for a mutual friends birthday. not only did she express her desire to not want to go she started bad mouthing our friend and her boyfriend. (this sounds so dramatic and like a high school story as i type..) after kristin told me how she felt about the mutual friend i told our friend, i was mad. how can you call someone a friend when you talk about them that way?! needless to say me and kristin had a falling out. about a month after that i got a call from a friend one night asking me if i had seen kristins facebook status. i said no because she defriended me (mature) but i got on a friends account to look at what it said… it said something along the lines of… “if natalie has ever done you wrong or if you agree that she is a shitty person press like” there were a few likes and even some comments. what sucked the most was the none of my friends would step up for me and say something to her via facebook. no one would help me. i couldnt even defend myself because we werent friends on fb. i would like to remind you i am 25 yrs old. and i was a victim of internet bullying. it makes me sick. luckily i know her words are empty and i am a bigger and better person. it was hard to see and still is hard to think about. i strive to be nice every single day to every single person. bullying is unacceptable!
first off, thanks for sharing!! I started tearing up at my desk.. at 7:45 am!! I am so sorry you went through that but glad you made it out!
You are a strong, gorgeous lady and a real inspiration EVERYDAY. And I am very grateful that you are here to share your experience(s).
1. Never was really bullied. Just the occasionalbeing picked on. And my big brother was (and still is!!!) a butthead!
2. I have a VERY sick obsession with MUSTACHES. I can not get enough. The bF has one– our rule is if he ever shaves it off, I wont ever shave.. anything. hahaha.
I even have a mustached tattooed on my finger. Yup, THAT sick of an obsession.
thanks again!
You’re amazing, so glad to read your story AND so glad you never went through with it but I know how awful it feels to be bullied – I can totally related – I transfered schools in middle school because of bullying from my peers and so called “friends.” Interesting enough though, the one boy who made my life bell, apologized to me some 6 years later outside of our church on Christmas eve as it began to snow. I guess some people realize that their actions are hurtful and are then remoreseful later on. Love you!
i can completely relate to this…except, i was never really friends with the girls…i just played sports with them. i live in a small town where the same people played each sport. i played them all, so i was with these girls ALL the time. they were SO competitive and hated not being the best at something. my senior year in hs was a horrible time in my life. regardless of the fact that i was named mvp of our league and we won back to back bsaketball championships together, they HATED my guts. there were SO mean. i figured life would just be better once it was over because it meant heaven for me! the thought DID run through my mind…i cried almost every single day.
SO glad that is out of the way! i feel so strong now :) love you girl! thanks for being brave enough to share this!
xo.
janetha–i LOVE you! You are so wonderful and sweet and kind and beautiful. I cannot imagine any one ever begin so cruel to you. I’m not surprised you don’t remember that time in your life super well. I basically have no recollection of high school for the same reason. I’ve totally blocked/drugged it out. Please take comfort in knowing that you are one of the friendliest, nicest girls I have ever met. Let’s make a club–no mean girls aloud! ;)
I love dustin’s beard. He just shaved it for an interview and I was SO pissed! It’s back for now….
P.S. Now I want tacos.
P.P.S. still love you! xoxo
Oh man, thank you for sharing that. It takes a lot, I know, because I’ve never had the courage to write anything about my own depression and issues with suicidal thoughts. I was bullied a lot in elementary school, but it wasn’t until I was in 8th grade or so that I even thought of it as an option. I just felt lonely….I’d never been someone’s “best friend,” and I’d had so many girls ditch me for other friends, and I just felt worthless. My dad takes aspirin every day for his heart and buys bottles in bulk that he keeps in my mom’s bathroom, and I remember taking one and hiding it in my bedroom in case I ever “needed” it. I never got close to actually going through with it, but I’m still really creeped out and haunted by how comforting death seemed at that point. Kids really can be so mean, I don’t understand it….how can the age of innocence be so cruel??
Anyway, thank you for sharing. I’ve loved the honesty in these posts :)
This must have been a very hard post to write, so thank you for being so open. I hate to hear that you went through that, or that anyone does. Bullying makes me sick because it’s such unnecessary hatred and anger from which no good comes. But it is so refreshing to hear your story has a happy ending. I’m glad you found the strength to not go through with it and I’m glad that you now have a wonderful life that makes you happy! You’ve certainly have come out the other side :-)
And we’re lucky to have you!
Great post.
I was often bullied. I was born in West Virginia… and you might not know all the jokes about WV.. but i’ve heard it all.. how my mom is my sister and my aunt.. and how my dad is my brother and grandfather.. how my family has no teeth… it was literally every day. every day. I got this abuse. On top of that, I did have a little southern accent.. some of my ‘friends’ (which were all guys) didn’t approve.. so anytime i would talk, they would literally beat me when I used it. I eventually tought myself not to do it.
It was hard. There were some really rough times. But I took that anger and frustration into a more productive area of my life, like sports. I excelled. That, was the best revenge I could have ever gotten.
Thanks for sharing!
Wow Janetha. I’m SO sorry to hear that you dealt with that. Kids are mean, awful. It’s so sad to think about how many young people are put through things like this. And for what? Where do some people get the idea to do these things, to target the people they do, to make others’ lives miserable? I’ve never understood it and I never will. I dealt with very minor bullying, though it was more teasing than anything, when I was younger but nothing nearly so awful or traumatic. I can’t imagine. Thanks a lot for sharing though. I think this really does send a powerful message out about how those stupid mean things people often say and do without even thinking about can have drastic impacts. I try my absolute best to be friendly to whoever I meet or communicate with but I think just hearing this is really going to make me pay extra attention to how I treat people. I would never want to offend or hurt someone to the point where they are deeply affected but I think it’s much easier to do than we often even realize. You are such a strong and AMAZING woman. I’m so so glad you got past all that and found the right people for you.
And speaking of the right people, that Marshall sure is a smarty pants. What a great gift, he’s a thinker!
I am really sorry you had to go through this in your teenage years. Kids can really be terrible.
I was bullied, but not seriously as you. It did make me feel awful, and I hated every single day at school.
Thankfully, now I don’t let other people hurt me so easily, and I’ll do my best one day to teach my children how to treat their classmates, friends, or even strangers.
Ugh…girls can be so mean. So cruel. I am SO sorry to hear that you had to endure through that and feel the way that you did. As if being a teenager isn’t tough enough with all of that to top it off.
I love how strong you are though. And I’m so happy you pulled through and became stronger through it all. You are one fabulous lady. :D
Thank you for sharing your story, I know this one must have been the most difficult to date. I am happy to hear you were able to put a positive spin on things, and I will think of your advice to be nice to everyone I meet, even when I’m impatient and standing in line. :)
I have been a victim of bullying, and have also followed a bullier by not standing up for what was right. I’m not proud of it, and to this day I feel guilt. In grade 7 our class went to a weekend camp for girls our age. My friend and I shared a room with a few other girls, one of whom had admitted she did not wear underwear to bed as her mom told her it was good to äir things out”. Well, my friend and I thought this was entirely gross and at any opportunity that we saw her, we would yell out “sheets”, thinking this was hilarious. Since we didn’t understand it, and at that age, anything that is weird or different from you is easy to ‘make fun of’. It doesn’t make sense now, and I’m not sure it did then either. I’m not even sure the girl understood why we were doing it, but regardless I feel terrible about it to this very day.’ Looking back I wish I would have had the guts and confidence to tell my ‘friend’ that it, and we, were wrong. Sorry for this super long response!
Oh, and in regards to the facial hair I’m the complete opposite! I love the rugged look, and have been with my guy for 3.5 years. I have never seen him without facial hair, and am a little scared of the prospect. heh.
Your story is one that many of us have experienced and I’m glad you shared it, Janetha! I was incessantly bullied in middle school by a particular group of boys, but fortunately I had my own crew of friends who stood up for me. I never thought about ending my life or got depressed about it — I just developed a carefree attitude and learned quickly who my best friends were. It SUCKED at the time, but once I got to high school things were so much better…by that point I was just thankful the bullying stopped and learned to be kind to everyone. The bad experiences helped make me who I am today fo SHO!
Ugh, hearing things like this break my heart. I was never really bullied in school (thankfully) but I work with a weight loss camp for kids and some of the stories they tell just make me so sad. I don’t understand how people can be so mean…and how they can treat other people in the way they do. So heartbreaking.
Wow! What a story. I’m SO glad you were a wuss!!! That is awful how those girls treated you. I hope that they know karma is a b*tch! They’ll get theirs.
I’m glad that you are so happy now though, that’s what’s important. I agree though- people just need to be nice to other people. It really goes such a long way!
I am so so sorry you had to go through that Janetha. Middle school and high school can be awful times and relational aggression between girls is (in my mind) one of the worst things. I equate it to boys beating each other up. Both leave scars. But you know what the beautiful thing is? I read your blog now and I would have had no idea you had gone through this incredibly awful thing. You are bright, positive, self-assured and so caring. That is the Janetha whose blog I read. You made it through and LOOK at you girl – amazing.
ugh girls can be SO mean! yes I dealt with this surprisingly a lot in college, towards the end of my senior year. It was the time in my life that I felt much more independent and i was getting ready to move to the next stage of my life. My friends were so mean to me ebacuse I didn’t always want to do what they wanted and sometimes acutally wanted my alone time. I was very focused on getting to that next stage in my life, and they weren’t there yet. It created a huge block in our friendship and I was put down constantly for wanting to be independent. SO happy thats over with!!!
ok love the valentines day meal you two created esp the ice cream!!!
xoxoxoxox
first i wanted to say, i really like your taco tradition. i think i’m going to start a homemade pizza one for next year! second, i dont want to be the commenter just for the heck of it but i did have to say that must have been a really hard topic for you to post about. i always say that i was living in a bubble in HS (just happy, had no idea that my friends did drugs, or that people were bullied, i had a solid group of friends and liked school) but my younger sister had a ton of issues with her friends and it was literally baffling to me – the hate and venom of some girls! i’m glad you got through it as the person you are now, and not someone who is mean in return or totally destroyed by the nasty things people did!!
I am so sorry you went through that! Who needs enemies when you have “friends” like those? Two of my sisters went through something similar. To one it happened during the tween/teen years. She also tried to kill herself, which I never knew until a few years ago. That made me so sad (for her)/mad (at the bullies). My other sister experienced bullying in college and a little beyond. I think it stems from others’ insecurities. I was also bullied, but not by friends. I hated the middle school years and high school was….eh, ok. Look at you now though, Janetha. :) {{HUGS}}
On another note, your ice cream looks fantastic. Mental note to find an ice cream maker. ;) Cookies and cream is my all time favorite flavor!
Thanks for sharing a being so honest!
Hmmm I like a little scruff but once it’s beyond that, I’m usually not a fan!
I LOVE that Marshall makes you tacos!!! I am so glad you didn’t let those girls get to you enough to follow through ~ I LOVE having you in my life :)
XOXO!
Me
You can have fruit once a week (on your cheat day).
We have two giant bowls of fruit at home, and it’s weird walking by them and not grabbing something to snack on.
Wow, thank you SO much for your willingness to post about this and be so honest.
The whole time I was reading your post, I felt like you were telling my story. And then, to read so many comments saying they experienced it too… just wow.
I’ve often felt like I was ‘singled out’ like something was wrong with me, or I was just not cool etc. Reading all of these posts and comments has helped me not feel so alone and to start to realize it probably had little to do with me and sometimes kids are just plain mean.
The teasing in my childhood is something I know still affects me, and I’m 27. But, I’m becoming more of myself every day and trying to put all that behind me. You and your story are so inspiring!
I wish I got that for V day.
I’m in therapy for this same thing. I do/did think I was worthless, after the soooooo many years of abuse, physical, and verbal. So many years of being called stupid, retard, etc. really got to me and I believed it. now I’m trying to change the story and its not easy. Being in treatment before and relapsing is a good example of how hard it can be to deal with emotions appropriately and to keep up with positive thinking.
i LOVE facial hair haha not so much the scratchy feeling but i’m a huge sucker for a nice looking 5 oclock shadow ;)
i also love your bravery for posting this! i think a lot of people reading this are going to relate and feel so happy that you came out and said it :) you’re such a blessing mama!
I know I don’t know you in real life, but I totally love your blog, and I’m sorry that you were bullied so much! That is awful!!
I was bullied just about every day in elementary school. By third grade, my friends wouldn’t talk to me anymore. They would call each other and tell each other what they were going to wear the next day. I was never invited to participate. eh, who cares. That was the least of my problems. There was one boy in particular who realized I was the only person in the class weaker than he was, and so I was the natural target. I was beat up often, and hated elementary school. By fourth grade, I was crying myself to sleep. I was 9. 9 years old and I hated myself, and my life. I was choked, slammed against a wall, and then the same boy chucked his snow boot at my face and cut my lip open. Since he wrote me an apology the next day, he was not suspended or anything. My Mom didn’t make a deal out of because she says she didn’t want my siblings to think that I was getting extra attention. I think she thought she was protecting me by not fighting the principal on anything. Seriously, it was torture. There were a few boys that every day on the first day of school would chuck a football at me. I got hit once, bloody nose, ruined my new first-day-of-school outfit. They broke 2 pairs of glasses, basically, I was bullied by all the boys and shunned by all the girls. Except the one girl who wore a binky on a necklace around her neck…in sixth grade.
Thanks for being so great. I love reading your blog, and I love you!!
Also, I was going to say, I am sitting here eating Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate chip Cookie Dough ice cream because of all your delicious homemade ice cream. I had a craving and couldn’t resist. Of course, I didn’t try very hard. :)
Oh, and as for facial hair – not a fan. :)
You were so brave to write this post…I am glad you did. Its an important message and really life should be lived to be enjoyed and no one should be so mean to another person. I just wanted to say that I am so glad I came across your blog so many months ago because I read it nearly every day and think you are an amazing person! I am glad you are here today :)
And a little scruff is okay but sometimes it scratches my lips if its too prickly!!
I’m so sorry that you ever felt that way and that those girls bullied you. Maybe it makes you a stronger person in the end, but no one should ever feel that sad. Such a brave post. Thank you for sharing. ♥
I don’t mind facial hair, haha. Is that weird?
Ohhh, Janetha, that sounds so horrible. You are such an amazing person, I cannot fathom why anyone would want to be so cruel to you. My little sister is the victim of bullying at school right now and led her to get so depressed she was hospitalized. People say all the time that kids can be awful, but really, can be downright AWFUL. There was a suicide in my hometown not that long ago because of bullying. I can’t imagine human beings doing that to one another.
I got teased in school, but nothing that bad. I have no tolerance for people who talk ill of others, and even to this day I find it hard to get good girl friends because girls love to gossip and put other people down.
LOVE YOU JANETHA!
I’m late to post this. If you check out my blog I started to recount my crap ordeal with Valentine’s Day and what it means to me know. Besides the cheating, my ex-husband was such a huge bully and let’s just say….there have been some rough times. Thank God for true friends and strong spirits. I’m so glad you have found the happiness inside of you that makes life beautiful and worth living to the fullest. :)
This was so powerful… I admire your strength. This challenge has been really tough… I’ve been seriously considering flaking out on it… the topics are so deep and take me to places I don’t want to go. I don’t like the way some of the questions make me feel. I’ll probably drop it.
I wasn’t bullied by my peers, but by my brothers… :( I had an overbite and they would call me beaver, and make faces and do their hands in an exaggerated overbite gesture. They would also call me thunder thighs. :(
People can be mean, and some words do hurt. Sticks and stones, my a$$.
I’m glad that you are still with us, you are strong and beautiful!
Oh J I don’t always have the time to comment but I had to say something in response to this post. I am so glad you didn’t go through with suicide – you bring so much joy and happiness to others life…you truly are like a ray of sunshine. Even though I don’t know you PERSONALLY, perse, I feel like I do. Does that make sense? What an absolutely terrible thing to experience but I’m glad you came out of it and realize that it was those girls who were at fault and not you.
I was never bullied as much as you were, but I was teased my girls who I thought were my friends, called a “wig witch” behind my back (curly hair), was told by some guy on the bus that I was so weird and ugly and somewhere along the lines of a waste of space (can’t remember the exact words..but basically like, “Why are you even here?”) and then a neighbor of mine (he was a couple of years older than me in school) asked me what had happened when my parents gave birth to me. Did my brother get all the good genes and I end up with all the leftovers? There were many, many times I wanted to die.
On a more positive note, I have to admit I love facial hair. Not full-on beards, but I love scrubble…a little bit of scruffiness is always sexy to me. :)
Ugh, Janetha, I’m so sorry you went through this. Girls can be- and still are- so mean. I went to an event last night where I didn’t know anyone but there were two groups of girls who seemed to know each other, and every time I said something no one would even look at me. I tried to be nice and be friendly for at least the 1 hour we were all at this event, but it was kind of horrible. I felt like I was right back in junior high and high school, and the cool girls didn’t even register my existence. So silly that at 23 I still felt like I “didn’t matter” to those people for an hour, but it was so uncomfortable.
Thank you for sharing. You continue to amaze me with your bravery and your honesty. I hope we get to meet someday! I’ll bring the Fila shirts :-)
I went through bullying throughout middle school as well. And from people who claimed to be my friends. They would kick me in the hallway, tell me I had no friends and no life and would just laugh at me, for no reason. After a while, I just started to ignore them, went on with people who did like me and who also respected me. When I started college, that all went away. But it still stings sometimes to think of what people did to me.
And I think facial hair looks sexy on my husband but I don’t like how it scratches when he kisses me.
I’m a bit late to the party here, but I just want to say how sorry I am to hear what you went through as a kid! It seems that the girls who do this are insecure themselves, and the best way to deflect any attention form their own perceived faults is to bully other people. They usually choose the kindest, sometimes quietest ones to bully, because they’re “easier” targets. I had a frenemie in school who would turn on each of her friends very suddenly and without warning, and would recruit others (including her older sister and HER friends) against them. It was horrible. I and another girl were frequent targets, until one day we’d had enough and walked away. For whatever reason, she got tired of tormenting us and left us alone.
In high school she became very quiet and sweet. I’m not sure what happened. We were never close friends again, but we would smile and say hello and even talk once in a while.
I hope those girls who were so awful to you eventually woke up, and are better people now.
I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you went through that, and how happy I am that you are who you are today, and were brave enough to continue in life!
Barbara