flashback friday round ten.

pardon my absence last night.  would you believe me if i told you i went to bed at 6 PM?  well, you better believe it.. because that is what i did.

right before i left work this is what i wrote on twitter:

sure enough.. i got home.. curled up into the fetal position.. decided to take “just a little nap” and woke up around 10 PM with text messages, missed calls and voice mails flashing red on the blackberry curve.  sorry life, i was sleeping.

i have to send a daily sales total every night.. and i have to talk to my boyfriend every night.. so i took care of those two items of business and went back to bed.  i only woke up one other time, at 1:45 AM when my roommates got home.. but i easily drifted back to sleep and didn’t awake again until 6:40 AM.

yes, that is over 12 solid hours of sleep glorious sleep.  and no blog post. and no blog reading. yes, i am behind.. but at least i am rested. i am sure you all understand.

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let’s have some weight issues ramble time, shall we?

i feel incredibly sluggish from not working out in OVER A WEEK.  but obviously my body needed the sleep and it is trying to get better.  i think my health is more important than my muscle growth and fat loss right now.

speaking of fat loss.. i went to the doctor yesterday.  hmm, that transition didn’t make much sense, did it?  well what i am getting at is that i had to see my weight yesterday.  i hate that part of going to the doctor.  having to step on the scale. it gives me anxiety.. i hate having to see what i weigh because i fear that the number will be too high and determine my mood for the rest of my day.. week.. month.. life.  you get the idea.

before yesterday, i hadn’t weighed myself since august.. when i had that freak-out moment and wallowed in self pity and talked about it here on the blog. before august, i hadn’t weighed myself since march.  and the number was not my favorite in march.. but it was one i could live with.  in august, however, the number was not one i could live with. it was disgustingly high, my clothes did not fit and i was already depressed BEFORE seeing that number on the scale. seeing the number just made it that much worse.

so i did something about it. and i have been doing something about it since then.. but i have not stepped on a scale because i did not want the number to dictate my mood.  i refuse to let a number take control and make me depressed.  so i chose to just do what i needed to do.. exercise regularly, eat the right amount of food, drink a gallon of water a day and be persistent.  and stay off the scale.. because honestly, i was feeling good. good about my healthy habits and good about the fact that my clothes were starting to fit again.

guess what? when i got on the scale at the doc yesterday i discovered that i am back to my march weight.  which is just 7 pounds away from “that certain number” that i am aiming for. my feel great weight, if you will.  i have not been weighing myself these past couple months and i have steadily lost weight.. i am about 6 pounds down from my freak-out moment weight.

by the way, “that certain number” is still about 8 pounds higher than my lowest weight~which is what i was at the end of my first body for life challenge in the photos on this page.  yeah, i was a lean, mean muscle machine last november.. but it was from die hard weight lifting and super strict eating.  it was awesome for the 12 weeks that i did it, but not something i wanted to do for a lifetime.  after the 2008 holidays were over i ended up around 120 lbs and decided that is where i felt happiest. my “skinny” clothes still fit and i was not being too hard on myself when it came to exercise and clean eating. it was the perfect balance and the perfect weight, for me.

i just wanted to share this with you all and say throw your scales away.  coming from a girl who used to weigh herself every morning like clockwork.. it isn’t worth the feeling that little (or big) number can give you.  it is CRAZY how much control one three digit number can have over your mood. i am sure a lot of you know what i mean.  i am so happy i am no longer a slave to the scale and that i have let the way i FEEL determine my mood.. not the amount i weigh. because in the long run.. who cares what that number is? if i feel good, healthy and strong then i am on the right track.  if i feel chubby, don’t fit into my clothes and am being lazy then i know something has to change.

this way, if i am on the right track, making healthy choices, slowly losing or maintaining.. i can stay happy.  where as before, when i was addicted to the scale, if i was on the right track and happened to step on the scale to see a GAIN.. i would just think all my hard work was for nothing and get all sorts of depressed.  but guess what? sometimes i weigh more. some days there is more water weight. and even though i am on the right track in the grand scheme of things.. that 3 digit number being higher can make me feel like a complete failure. so i would much rather go off of how i am feeling and not a number.

peace out scale.. see you at the doctor’s office next time i am sick.

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so.. yeah, still sick. the doctor made me wear a mask during my appointment.  i have the flu.. but not the swine flu.  eats were lame yesterday.. as i was just not that hungry.

meal 1: luna bar @ 11:00 AM

this is by far my favorite bar.  i don’t really like bars that have chocolate in them.  unfortunately, this doesn’t have much protein and it doesn’t keep me full for long.  but it is still delish!

meal 2: grilled turkey + cheese & cup of tomato soup @ 1:15 PM

marshall and i went to the soup kitchen. SLC girls.. i sure hope you frequent this place on the regular.. it is the best soup place ever!

this is my favorite soup in the entire world. i am not exaggerating. and you get all the breadsticks you want.. for free. i had a wheat one.

i added turkey to the standard grilled cheese to up my protein intake.  i also asked for wheat bread and didn’t get it. i was too sick, tired, hungry, etc. to send it back. sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches.

i was really busy at work all afternoon and then i went to bed at 6.. so i didn’t eat anything else!  the downside was that i didn’t drink much water.  and when i don’t drink enough water i get a UTI.  without fail.  i have gotten them chronically since the age of 3 or 4.  the only way to keep myself from getting one is to drink high volumes of water.. and when i don’t, i can plan on having a UTI.  this was another reason i curled up in a ball and went to bed at 6 PM. ugh, thanks a lot defective bladder.

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time for flashback friday! wow! i can’t believe this is round 10.  stellar.  as i mentioned in my last post, i got miss penelope jane a year ago!  i thought today would be a perfect time to flashback to the night i picked her up from the airport and the first couple days i had my little bean.

i purchased penelope from a breeder in PA. i was going to get a pure bred entlebucher but they are $1200.. and my roommate found penelope’s litter for $450 per pup.  the breeder stated that she was not sure if the pups were pure bred or if they were mixed with a cavalier as her female entlebucher had gotten pregnant on accident.  i didn’t care if i had a pure bred dog or not so i decided to purchase a female pup. here is the only photo i saw before buying her:

i die. so cute.

anyway, i just realized that the whole store is here on my other blog! so i am going to be a slacker and copy and paste some of this!

“monday night i got a call from the breeder. a crazy coincidence had occurred! a man called the breeder, bonnie, wanting a male pup. penny’s brother. well, wouldn’t you know it? he lives in SLC! what are the chances?! so she made quick arrangements for her brother to be shipped in the same crate as penny. bonnie had never shipped to SLC before and now she was shipping 2 pups at once.. spooky. the best part about this is she was able to make the long flight with her brother in the crate with her, which made me feel very good. also, her brother lives here and they can check in with each other! one last perk was the shipping rate was the same for one or two pups, so i was able to collect half the shipping back from the man getting the male pup. that was nice.

i spoke with the man on the phone regarding meeting at the airport. he said my name right, and he did not act surprised when he heard it, as most people do. i always get a remark.. “that is an interesting name” or “wow i have never heard that”…instead he said, “i had a patient named janetha, i am an optometrist.” um.. ok.. never in my 25 years has anyone told me they have heard my name let alone known another janetha. weird.

when we pulled up to the airport parking lot, marshall and i saw 3 people walking inside with a camera and clapping their hands. gee i wonder if they were there to get a puppy??? yeah, they were. we got to talking with them and when i asked what the janetha’s last name was who he knew, he said hancock! that is the very person i was named after! ok, this was weird. i was named after a friend of my parents… who he knew from his practice.. and now we were both getting puppies. and he thought janetha was a normal name. haha. awesome.

we waited anxiously, the flight landed at 9:34 and we didnt see the pups til about ten after. the anticipation was literally killing me!! when they finally arrived in a small crate on the unusual sized baggage claim, i was sooo excited! i pulled them out of the crate, first the male (they named him kramer) and handed him off, and then marshall took a couple snapshots of penelope before pulling her from the crate. she was SO SO SO little.. way littler than expected! what a doll. her brother was just as adorable.”

so isn’t that nuts that the guy getting the male pup knew the woman i was named after? it is SUCH a small world we live in! i love small world experiences.

here are the photos from the airport. she was SO TINY!!

we took her home to meet randy. he instantly clobbered her with his slobbery kisses :) look at the expression on her face. priceless!

instant buddies! randy loves his little sister.

she peed all over my bed the first night.. didn’t feel guilty about it either..this photo was taken immediately after i tore the sheets off my mattress.

the next day i took work off so i could spend time with my new little baby and let her meet nana sue.  the random thing is, i am wearing that same olive green hoodie today! weeeird!

we had a long day of shopping and playing.. and penelope climbed up on the back of my neck in the car and fell asleep just like this! so hilarious!

she is silly.  another funny thing she did that day was freak out when i put her collar with her name tag around her neck.  here is a video of her trying to get the name tag..

oh.. miss penelope jane. i don’t know how i ever lived without her!

october 21, 2008:

october 21, 2009:

sweet as ever.

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well that wraps up flashback friday round 10! did you participate? i wouldn’t know because my reader is up past a million. sorry. let me know and i will link back and hopefully catch up with you all soon!

but not tonight, because tonight is my brother & SIL’s annual halloween partaaaay!

here is a flashback photo from last year.. the bee, the lady bug and master shake.. ha.

this year we will be leaving penelope at home with her brother.. and we have a goofy couples costume planned. stay tuned.

i am also going to start moving stuff over to my new house this weekend so i am sure a lot of my time will be occupied with that. sorry for being such a crappy blog friend lately.. i can’t wait to be situated in my new house and healthy so things can be back to normal!

Qs~

1. what is your favorite bar? how long, on average, do bars keep you full? like i said my fave is the nuts & cranberry luna bar.. but i am lucky if it keeps me full for any longer than 2 hours!

2. what are your thoughts on using a scale? hate it? love it? hate it but use it anyway? i am no longer addicted to weighing myself and i couldn’t be happier about it. but i know that some people are just fine with weighing themselves once a week or on a regular basis. it changes my mood too much so i did away with the scale! what about you?

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND EVERYBODY!!

xo. janetha b.

p.s. don’t forget my mini food processor giveaway ends tonight at midnight!