flashback friday: taking the party out of the girl.
time for a flashback friday! i know, it’s been awhile, my deepest and sincerest apologies. what can i say, sometimes i struggle with consistency.
this post is going to be LONG and have a LOT of photos.. nothing that have to do with meals or moves.. so if you are looking for a foodie fitness post, come back later on and i will have one for you. this one is all about flashback friday.
i received an email from the amazing liz last night. she wrote:
Hey Janetha!
I saw you shouting out for blog ideas earlier on Twitter and I was thinking it would be great if you could do a post about how you transitioned from party-hard girl to healthy girl? Did you lose friends? I feel like I’m at a very tough spot in my life right now because I’ve grown out of the bar 3-4 nights a week scene but my best friends haven’t. I’m 27 and spent plenty of years going out several nights a week. It is becoming difficult to find time to hang out with them in a situation that doesn’t involve massive amounts of alcohol.
I don’t mind going out to bars every once in awhile but Indianapolis is still backwards and allows smoking in bars so it’s not exactly a pleasant experience in my mind. I’m at a loss, I don’t want to lose my friends but I feel like they mock me for making healthier choices in my life.
Any suggestions are appreciated!
Thanks, Liz
wow, this is a great question and great topic. as i have mentioned before.. i used to be quite the party girl. it started with drug use and then that fizzled out and i became a big drinker. that lasted for several years and i slowly stopped drinking. now days, it is rare to see me drinking alcohol (well, i won’t be drinking any this month because of my goal for an alcohol free april.)
everyone has a different story when it comes to drinking alcohol. some people do it a lot, some people do it a little and some people don’t do it at all. generally speaking, i think lots people start out drinking all the time, going out to bars, socializing at kegs.. then it tapers off a bit as they get older until going out to the bar is some monumental occurrence. that’s where i am now.. good thing i am married so i can blame it on that ;) i’m kidding—honestly, i don’t think i have to make excuses as to why i don’t want to go out. i like staying home in my PJs with my dogs and marshall, blogging away. call me a party pooper, i don’t care.
i want to tell you my story—timeline style.
i didn’t have even a sip of alcohol until i was 17 years old. even then, i didn’t like it and didn’t drink it.
when i was 18 i moved out of the house and went to raves all the time. i had a very strict social schedule.. i think it was something like monday and tuesday i hung out at the coffee shop with everyone, wednesday and thursday was bar night, friday and saturday were rave nights and sunday was the drum circle at the park.. only to do it all over again.
i lived in london when i was 19 and went out a bunch with my friends there.. i was going to school while i was there so i didn’t get too crazy.. but still, went out quite a bit.
i came home and had grown out of the rave scene (and the drug scene, thank goodness) and started going to the bars. i lived on my own but was always at my friends’ house—there was a close group of us and we are still friends today. we would usually go to the bar wednesday, thursday and then either friday or satuday—or house parties, whatever was going on that weekend. this was from the age of 20 to 22.
at the end of 2005 (when i was still 22) moved into a house with my friend j5 and a couple other people. the “couple other people” changed throughout the year or so that we lived there.. but here is a roomie shot of the four of us who lived there at the end:
we had a HUGE sunroom in the basement.. it was basically a 400 square foot tiled room that was prime for parties. and we had a lot of them.
even the dogs were drinking!
and there were more bar outings.. all the time.
at the end of 2006, my friend corey offered to buy a house for 5 of us girls to rent. um, hello.. dream come true?! he bought a 5 bedroom, 4 bathroom house AND he bought a hot tub. it was amazing. we loved living there! we still went out quite a bit, but since we had such a nice house, we had a lot of parties there. here are some photos from that time period.. we lived there from novemberish of 2006 to may of 2008.
and, of course, we still went out to the bar..
then.. on march 7, 2007, i broke my arm.
it took awhile to recover.. but i still went out. just not as much.. and i didn’t drink quite as much.
and i also realized none of my clothes were fitting.. and i was getting—gasp—chubby.
soo.. i stopped drinking quite a bit. i started my first attempt at BFL. i toned down the booze consumption drastically.
and then THIS GUY came into the picture:
and he didn’t drink (still doesn’t). i still drank.. but less. and less. and less.
i started enjoying more homebody things. there was still beer.. but things weren’t quite as crazy. my friends also started to mellow out a bit. we enjoyed more mellow activities.. like pumpkin carving!
and going out to dinner more often than we went out to the bar.. our bar-to-restaurant ratio was reversed.. (the fact that my friend allie was pregnant forced her to mellow out a tad)
and cooking at home with friends..
and just hanging out at home with the dogs.
in may of 2008, i moved into a house with some other girls. the girls i was living with all purchased homes of their own! i know, so grown up. i wasn’t quite ready for that so i moved in with four of my girl friends who had a spot open in their house. i ended up living there from may 2008 to october of 2009.
this period of time was when i changed the most. marshall and i were really serious. i had more and more obligations and responsibility at my job. i wanted to lose weight and get in shape. all of these things were factors to me drinking less. i would go out ever now and then, but mainly stayed home and hung out with marshall and my roomies. i was also always at marshall’s house hanging out with him and his roomies. all that roomie hanging-outage left no time for drinking! ha. i was really just occupied with this guy.
i went to hawaii in august of 2008 and, while it was super fun, i realized i wanted to get in shape for good.
when i did a full 12 week by-the-book body for life challenge in august of 2008, i quit drinking so i could have optimal results. YES, this was hard. YES, i missed out on social functions simply because i didn’t want to be tempted to drink and overeat. YES, my friends thought i was overly obsessive and talked shit on me for my choices. YES, it hurt my feelings. YES, i feel like i lost some friends when i stopped drinking.
but.. guess what? 12 weeks with exercise, healthy eating and no booze did my body good.
a fire was ignited after my BFL challenge. it wasn’t about the weight loss. it was about how i felt. I FELT FANTASTIC. i didn’t care that people thought i was lame for not going out to the bar. i didn’t have the desire to get wasted and forget what happened the night before. i didn’t want a two day hangover. i was a changed person. i felt good and i learned how to respect my body. it didn’t need all that booze.
after my first serious go-round with body for life, my habits changed drastically. before, i was still drinking pretty frequently. i wasn’t getting totally wasted, but i was drinking. after body for life, i changed a LOT. i didn’t want to drink. i learned a lot about calories and how the different types affected my body.. and i ultimately decided i’d rather have a bowl of ice cream than a beer. that’s a fact. i think this was the ultimate turning point for me when i totally let the party girl go. i had new priorities in life and health came first and foremost. also, i was working so hard and i didn’t want to let a big night of drinking and overeating get me off track.
i have to say that a big part of me being able to get through this transition was the fact that i had a supportive boyfriend who didn’t drink. he was always there for me and i could always hang out with him. that was great. i think living with people helped, too, because even though i wasn’t going out, i was still socially interacting. i had my roommates and we had people over often.
i noticed a bigger change in my lifestyle when i moved out of that house in october of 2009. our lease was up and i literally had nowhere to go. i ended up moving in with a couple random acquaintances, but i was basically just living on my own with roommates i wasn’t incredibly close to. if i wanted to have a social life of any kind, i had to go out to see people. this, of course, meant i had less of a social life. but the fact of the matter was that i was totally okay with it. i had reached a point in my life that going out was not a priority. i worked 40+ hours at my job, i blogged, i went to the gym 5-6 times a week, i drove to and from marshall’s house (40 miles) and, at the end of the day, i really didn’t have time or energy to go out.
in february of 2010 i got engaged and that was even more of a reason to focus on not drinking and staying in shape. there was the occasional party, of course, like the engagement party or a birthday party here and there, but my desire to get drunk just didn’t exist. i had turned into the have one or two drinks and call it good type of people.
i want to point out that another reason i was able to stop being such a party girl so easily was because of my family.
nobody in my family drinks—they are all mormon and mormons don’t drink. i LOVE to hang out with my family and am a very family-oriented person. because nobody in my family drinks, it makes it pretty simple to not drink when i am at family functions. actually, in all my 27 years, i have never had an alcoholic beverage in the presence of my family. that’s out of respect AND simply because i didn’t want to be drinking around them. what’s the point? now days, i spend way more time with my family than i do with friends. especially after what happened with momma b.. i want to spend as much time with her as possible!
i have to say that it is nice to be able to enjoy things without thinking about what i am going to drink. i have just as much fun as the drunk people do. whether i am camping..
at a concert..
at a party (notice my kombucha in hand!)..
at a sporting event..
at the bar..
snowboarding (kombucha in hand again!)..
or just sitting on my couch..
i have a good time.
life is what you make of it and if you don’t want to be a drinker, you don’t have to be one. if people look down on you for that, then they really aren’t your true friend anyway. now that i am old and married (ha, ha, ha) i stay home more often than not. i don’t see a lot of my friends.. this was tough for awhile.. but just in this past little while THREE of my best friends have gotten engaged. slowly but surely, all my friends will catch up with my level of boring-ness. i just like to think i am a step ahead of them ;)
i rarely drink these days, but all the people who are important to me are still there by my side, one hundred and ten percent!
so, liz, to finish answering your question.. you may be in a different place than your friends right now, but you have to do what makes YOU happy. no apologies. if you do lose friends due to your lifestyle choices, they were not the kind of friends you wanted anyway. it may sting to realize that.. but it’s for the best.
it’s like the saying goes: the ones that mind don’t matter, and the ones that matter don’t mind.
keep doing what you want to do in your life.. the first person you need to please in life is yourself.
if you made it this far, good for you. thanks for reading! i will be back later with meals & moves.
Q~
i would love to hear your background with and position on partying. how do you balance your social life while staying healthy? have your healthy habits affected your social life?
xo. janetha g.
meals & moves 
I loved reading this story and seeing all your pictures! Feels like I got a real glimpse into your life!
I was never much of a partier. I was lame, continue to be lame and will probably always be lame. I definitely enjoy going out every once and a while, but it’s never been a big part of my lifestyle, and I’m okay with it! I like hanging out at home too!!
Great post! I started drinking at 16 and partied hard junior and senior year of high school (only weekends) then partied throughout college and drank pretty much Thursday – Saturday for four years. I had a blast, but it took a toll on me. I guess I just mainly grew out of it. I went on to grad school, now work…I’ve had a serious boyfriend for nearly 5 years so the whole bar scene isn’t my thing unless we’re just hanging out with friends.
I still drink, but moderately. I’ll have a glass of wine with dinner and I like to make margaritas, but still only have one or two (not a whole pitcher like college! hah). Once in a while I get together with friends and we get tanked, but I pay the price with a hangover..then I don’t drink for months.
Drinking or going out doesn’t effect my healthy lifestyle at all. I can still eat healthy and make my own choices regardless of others. We’re each in charge of our own bodies, so I don’t judge what others do or don’t do.
Janetha, I LOVE THIS. I love it so much that it’s hard for me to even start a comment on this. I have a similar story and have touched on it lightly before. Basically I was a total bar star throughout college, it kind of tapered off when I had my first job but it was a presence in my life until about eight months ago. I feel so much better now that I rarely drink. And you know what? I don’t regret it at all. I often get asked, “You don’t drink?” or get pinned into a corner when others try to pressure me. And although I thought it would be hard, for the most part it’s not. I have just as much fun without alcohol and the truth is, I always did, I just used it as a crutch to do a lot of really stupid things and make a lot of really bad decisions.
Sometimes it makes me sad that our culture is so obsessed with drinking – from music to movies, conversations, events, it seems like so much is centered around alcohol and SO MANY PEOPLE abuse it. The people who have a problem with my lack of partying are the people who live their lives drinking or recovering from drinking or talking about drinking or looking like they’ve been drinking. Life has so much more beauty and possibility and wonder!
Getting wasted….is a waste of time. Thank you for being honest and real. It’s much appreciated and I think you rock even harder now.
I love how it went from partying to pumpkin carving. :)
I’ve never been a big drinker so I’ve gone for long periods of time without drinking anything at all. The only problem I’ve had is recently in NZ because drinking is a huge part of the culture and it seems like everyone drinks at every party or event I go to. I chose not to drink or only have one and that just seems like another reason why it’s been hard for me to find a steady group of friends here. But I’d rather just be myself than be drunk all the time to fit in.
Good for you! I’m the opposite. I’ve never been a drinker, and in fact hate the taste of all alcohol. When I was little and went to friend’s houses, I thought their parents were alcoholics for having a drink with dinner. Like, one drink. Hah! But, my parents didn’t drink, or many people in my family. I’ve always gotten crap for not drinking, but it’s my life. My husband doesn’t either, really. So that makes it easy, too.
Love this flashback Friday! I was a HUGEEEEEEEEE party girl in high school and college. I still really worked on my studies, but when the weekends came- it was nuts! When I got out of college and started getting more serious with Josh, I toned back. I got even more into group fitness and started teaching. Basically at this point, I would have a beer or two on random occasion- and a wild nut only like 1 x per year. Now (even before I got pregnant), I wasn’t really drinking at all. I just hate how it makes me feel the next day and what it does to my body. I think after the baby is born, I will go back to my one beer every once in a while, but thats pretty much all! And I must agree- the ones that mind don’t matter, and the ones that matter don’t mind. Love your story. You are so darn adorable!
Oohhh man, you know I have a very similar background, partying hardy in my teen years and into my early twenties. My friends were definitely resistant when I first started getting healthy. I was still in university then and opting out of cheap pitchers for an early morning run was unheard of! I must say though, a lot of the same university friends were those I hung out with in Toronto. They still love to drink hard, but they’ve come around like many of yours have. I think it’s a growing up thing, but a lot more of my friends are getting into “healthy living.” They run and go to the gym, they try to make better food choices, etc.
With all that said though, I sometimes feel like I’m a party girl at heart. Sometimes I still let totally loose and love every minute of it ;)
Also, I wish my family were non-drinkers! Instead my family are all heavy drinkers and I actually have more issues with them than with my friends…
Hey, great story and awesome pics! I am so glad you are happy with what you have going on right now.
Heres to enjoying life and staying in shape =) Cheers!
Great topic and great post. I’m also at a point where I’m not as into getting super wasted and staying out until 4 am anymore, but most of my friends are not. I’m just doing my own thing, hanging out until it’s time for me to hit the hay, and hoping that they’ll still be there for me when they settle down a bit!
I love this post and looking at all your pics!
I started drinking high school, but it was always at friends’ houses and not really a big deal. I drank too much in college (BIG party school), and then I stopped when I started to diet and exercise seriously. That made me wildly unpopular and got really strange. I’d go to the off-campus bar to hang out, and people just could not let it go! They were worse than food pushers.
I’ve drank off and on since then, but since I get sooooo hungover it’s mostly not worth it. A glass of wine here and there, a cocktail on vacation, that’s about it. :) I think, for the most part, everyone finds their own way with it if they’re focused on health. I really love that Marshall doesn’t drink. I know I’ve told you that before, but it’s worth repeating. :) Hugs!
Amazing post. I admire your honesty and love reading about your journey to being who you are today.
love that you posted this! You look fabulous and it must have taken a lot of courage to take responsibility of your health- even if your friends didn’t understand. Can I ask why Marshall never got into drinking? He wasn’t raised in the mormon culture was he?
Janether,
Crazy how we’ve changed growing older. Glad I could make some of your pics.
Is it our culture that claims we cannot have fun if we are not drinking? Is it the billboard ads showing the good friends all with beers in hands? Is it that the ways of having fun when growing up always seemed to involve drinking? Where was the actual fun happening? The drinking or having the friends involved in social activities? I have to ask this myself all the time. Especially lately when i cannot drink even if I wanted to (damn headaches).
Who knows, maybe its a combination of the two. Maybe they amplify each other.
I like your conscious decision towards good health over ‘good’ times. Since having to do the same I often find myself urging to leave the bar if going out with friends when not drinking, telling myself the bar has nothing to offer me as my friends down bottle after bottle, but then I wonder why I am there. Is it for the friends or the alcohol? Can I be a friend to friends who are drinking? There is something socially awkward about being sober at a bar with people consuming beverages, at times I feel like i put myself above them as I look at them and say, look at yourselves, barely making any sense as you dance around like a bafoon. Then I realize that it doesn’t matter, for they are my friends and good friends are hard to come by. The older I get the more I realize I need to hold on to those friendships that were established through years of drinking and spilling the beans when I am retardly drunk. I don’t know if I will be creating new friendships like that. So I put myself back on the same plain as them, buy them another round out of jealousy.
i have never drank, and never plan to. I used to go out to the bars all the time, my friends would drink, I would just dance the night away and drive them home. Everyone always got home safely.
I am thankful for my choice to never start drinking, I dont think it would have benefited me none. so i am perfectly happy just the way i am.
Great post!
I love all your flashback fridays, but this one is one of my favorites.
I never was a big drinker. In fact I CANT drink now because i have a bad liver (that has nothing to do with my previous drinking habits, it has to do with my previous eating disorder). My family is european, so everyone is “chillax” about drinking. My dad was never an alcoholic, but he drank a fair amount at night. But he totally stopped drinking after his stroke last november.
The only real unhealthy habit i had was my lack of eating and over-exercise. It took a while, and I’m not even “all healthy” in my opinion, but patience and time was the best medicine.
Love Love Love
Love you. You are amazing and so inspiring to me!
I can really relate to this. I’m 22 and a graduating senior.. which is a bit younger than most people have their tipping point I guess.. but I am so over the crazy party girl college scene. Been there, done that. The vast majority of my friends aren’t ready to let it go, and it has put a wedge in some of my friendships. However, some other friends I have gotten much closer to because they are in a similar mindset. I can have fun sipping on 1-2 drinks casually, I don’t need to get black out drunk, and if someone can’t accept that, then umm too bad? Have fun with that hangover?
I was a big partier starting my junior year in high school. We would drink on the weekends with a big group of friends. My first semester I had a pretty serious boyfriend but we would still party hard on Friday and Saturday by throwing parties at his apartment or joining the other people in the complex. We broke up during the spring semester of my freshman year and I just went absolutely crazy-I was going out every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. Then I met my current boyfriend and we were in a long distance relationship. I began to stay in so I could talk to him and stuff instead of partying all the time. I gained quite a bit of weight at the beginning of our relationship from all of the dates and mindless eating habits that I had. That was when I knew that things had to change. I became very dedicated to exercise but I didn’t nourish my body in a healthy way–I was basically starving myself. Now I am trying to find a balance of eating REAL food and training for a half-marathon. My social life has definitely suffered from this because most of the people I hung out with could care less about living a healthy lifestyle and they definitely tease/dog on me a lot for the things that I find important for my lifestyle. I feel like it has been really hard for me to meet people that have common interests as me where I live. I can’t wait to branch out and flourish in a new area once I graduate in December!
i LOVED this story!!!! i’m so in love that marshies really helped change your life and of course loving yourself was the main reason :) i partied HARD when i was in college, got REALLY fat my doctor told me i was too fat haha and then i went on weight watchers, loved working out, loved the way it felt and learned to love my veggies :) cutting alcohol back was a HUGE contributer!
I didn’t even notice how long this post was. You did a great job of telling your “story”! I admire your motivation to do what was best for you despite negative peer pressure at times.
You could say that I was a bit (ok a lot) of a goody goody growing up. My parents were Catholic, so alcohol was just always around. They’d let me have sips whenever I wanted, so I never felt like it was “forbidden”. Truthfully, most of my friends in highschool didn’t drink, since we weren’t part of the cool kid crowd. ;) I remember finding out one of my friends had gone out with her older sister and I was so mad at her for so long, but I did kind of feel left out. I watched how in highschool, people got into bad situations because of alcohol. I kind of decided that I didn’t want that for myself. (And if you’re wondering, my unhealthy habit for about a year was a seriously emotionally abusive relationship.)
Of course, when I went to college, I became LDS and now don’t I drink at all. I think that everyone goes through things and make mistakes that teach them life lessons. Some of my friends from highschool still hit the bars pretty hard and sometimes it can be hard to keep in touch with them but I think you’re right… eventually people mellow out and become old and boring. I must be an old soul. ;)
I really only drink socially (like a beer out with friends at dinner). Partying really isn’t my scene.
super, duper, awesome and fantastic post! eventually we all grow out of the drinking and partying phase, and start to grow up.
when i first started eating healthier, i got crap from all ends of life. my friends thought i was a health-nut. my family ridiculed me. my mom didn’t believe i was eating “real” food (bc fat-laden mexican food was apparently the only way to eat). my bf thought i was obsessive. but you know what? 2 years later, i’m still eating whole foods and exercising consistently (hello bodyrock.tv!). my mom is constantly asking me to bring her homemade goodies. she actually makes healthier choices when we’re out together. my bf is super excited about each meal i make. he even gets disappointed sometimes when i make dinner with meat. my carnivorous bf who refused to eat vegetarian in the beginning of our relationship is now requesting it! such is life :)
sticking to your guns is the key. after all, no one is going to eat healthy or say no to that beer for you
Janetha, this is the BEST! I love this post and this little glimpse into your life. Your honesty about and comfort with who you are and where you are in your life is super refreshing. I don’t have really have a similar background (never have been a big drinker), but have always felt that pressure from my friends who DO drink to “let loose, don’t be so uptight, etc etc.” You’re so right though that you have to be YOU and do what you know is best for YOU. No apologies. Rock on :)
I love this post! I thoroughly enjoyed reading about your growth/transition/whatever you call it. Mine was very similar – like you, I didn’t have a sip of alcohol until I was out of high school. Then college hit, I partied for 2 years, then met a special boy who made me like staying home instead of going to the bars. I grew apart from a lot of my (then) roommates and friends, but I just didn’t care. Priorities, I guess. Now that special boy is my husband, and we like just hanging out on the couch and being silly together. Isn’t growing up a funny thing?
i love this post. i was a big party girl for all of a year then i was done. the hangovers & unhealthy choices just felt like crap, it wasnt worth it.
I could write a book about this. I’m at the point right now where I still drink but not usually more than 2-3 drinks in any given weekend. It might seem like a lot to some people, but it’s drastically less than I used to drink.
Wow…what a great post!! Thank you so much for sharing your story!! All the fun of drinking was totally gone after I turned 21 – ironic, huh? I do enjoy the occasional beer or glass of wine every now and then but just the thought of drinking too much and dealing with a hangover is enough to push the alcohol away from me. I would much rather remember the great times with friends than remember the hangover the day after the great times!
Love the background information. You and Marshall really are so cute together. I partied..I had kids and then rarely drank. Lost LOTS of friends whose lives were party party party. Now that I’m in a committed relationship raising kids I always prefer to be at home. Sometimes a drink or two with friends (or alone or with Ry) happens while the kids are away but I just realized I haven’t had a drink all of April without even thinking about it.
you’re so awesome! :)
i enjoyed reading your journey of transition – these types of posts really let us get to know you. and i really appreciate the love and respect you have for your family – so wonderful.
thanks for bringing back flashback fridays!
Oh wow, Janetha, this is quite an awesome, amazing, detailed, honest and just fabulous post. The type of posts that make me love the blogoshpere and you and your blog!
I was an honor roll varsity athlete in h.s., didnt really drink or party much in college, but afterward and early 20s, I was a BIG party girl. Up until the time I got pregnant, I was in that scene but was tiring of it. It gets sooo old. I think by one’s later 20s, if you’ve been going out with any regularity, you’re just over it by the time you’re 27-28ish. It just becomes..repetitive, lame, and not fun. Getting trashed every night is hard on the body, it’s not fun in the morning, it’s not even fun while you’re doing it.
For me, becoming a mom changed everything. I dont drink anymore (maybe like 1 glass of wine every few months…or less…) and I have no desire to! If I wanted to, I would…but honestly, I dont want to. So why bother is my attitude.
And if friends/social opportunities have gone missing b/c of it…oh well. I dont care. As you said about minding/mattering, right on point!
Janetha, you are so awesome! Thanks for sharing your “party girl” story. It is so relatable. When I moved to SLC in 2003, I was in college and an athlete so partying was like a requirement. After I graduated from college, I drank even more due to the fact that life was changing, jobs, guys, friends and I couldn’t deal. I made a lot of BAD choice’s but finally came to terms with reality (not to mention some kick ass friends that really stood by me) and decided that drinking/partying all the time is not living.
I cleaned up my act and unfortunately lost friends. BOO & LAME. Now getting together with friends, it’s more low key like lunches, dinners, coffee, ect.. I have to say though, I do like to celebrate, just not over the top, passed out, sick. Those days are long gone. Ok, I think this is long enough. Yikes!
Janetha, I really love your honesty and the way you are so comfortable with yourself in your blog.
My thoughts about drinking: it’s harder when you’re younger–when you get older you can drink or not drink and (at least in my social circle) nobody cares either way. What’s important is to get together with other people and socialize, to play games, to talk, to do whatever, and if somebody wants a drink and somebody doesn’t, nbd. Nowadays more often I’ll have one or two drinks on a weekend night, because I know I’ll feel like crap in the morning otherwise, but I do love my wine! So I personally like to have a drink, but I don’t choose my friends on their alcohol choices, I choose them on their personality.
This was a great post that I can totally relate too. I’ve recently cut way back on my drinking. It started out as a way to lose weight buy turned into a lifestyle. As you stated, I no longer want to get drunk and put my body through that. I don’t enjoy that feeling and have no desire to spend Sundays on the couch hung over. It can be tough at times because a lot of my friends do still want to go out and get drunk, but as you said – if they ate your true friends they will understand and respect your decisions. Thanks again for this honest and open post!
I was never a partier, due to being shy and not having many friends growing up. I was always bullied so I was nervous around new people and was super sensitive to doing anything that could open me to criticism or teasing. Two alcoholic parents and a depression and anxiety diagnosis later, I have not once ever had a true drink in my 21 and 1/2 years. I have tasted alcohol (after I turned 19, the legal drinking age here. I was determined to stick to that) and didn’t care for it. I had never desired it at all growing up. I had better things to spend my money on, didn’t care for bars, didn’t like the taste of alcohol and feared the addiction. I lost friends over it, but other people had respect for me and my decision and I valued that much more than someone declaring me “uncool” because I hadn’t gotten wasted Friday night and spent my tuition money on shots. Thankfully, I found a guy who might have a beer every 6 months or so, never gets drunk and would rather stay in to watch movies than go to a bar. I still don’t have a lot of friends, but I know that the ones I do have respect my decision and we find things to do that don’t include alcohol (not quite so easy in my university town but you get the picture).
I love that you’re not afraid to put who you are out there for the world to see. I’m sometimes still scared to do that, even if real life with people I’ve always known. So thank you for posts like this, because if you can be yourself all the time, why can’t I?
I loved reading your story in this post! You’ve gone through such transformation over the years, it’s inspiring. I partied a lot my first 2 years of college, but I really hate being hungover and having it ruin my next day, so I can’t concentrate on homework or workout. I’m a bigger fan of smaller get togethers with friends or small house parties where I know everyone, and I only drink occasionally now (a beer or 1 glass of wine). It’s kinda hard being in college and only having 1 or 2 drinks when everyone else is downing 10+ and playing drinking games that go through drinks fast. No one really criticizes how little I drink, but I usually just take a long time to go through or drink or just switch to water after a while. It’s so worth it not getting drunk, going to bed feeling gross/spinning, and being able to enjoy the next day.
Wow, just wow. I absolutely loved reading this post. I am struggling with this a bit right now since I used to be a party girl, then toned it down a bit but due to stress have been drinking more than normal. This definitely needs to stop asap.
Thanks for posting this-I enjoyed all the pics as well!
Wow, this post was so opportune! I have been thinking about giving up alcohol apart from the odd occasion for a while (and for a number of reasons). And last night was my first night at a weekend dinner party, with friends who know I like my wine ,where I didn’t drink. At first it was REALLY weird and I wanted just one glass. But then once I had food I just didn’t think about alcholol and it felt really good to not be drinking! And today it feels good not to have a hint of a hangover.
It’s funny because in Britain it’s shocking how many social events/outtings revolve around drink. Summer evenings, BBQs, sport, dinner parties, drinks after work, weekend up the local pub etc. It makes it quite hard to step outside of the given mould.
But here’s to strength of character and determination. Love this post, really inspiring :)
This sounds exactly like my life! I feel so thankful that I was able to see alcohol was destroying the best person I could be. Most of my friends, not so much. Life is so much more enjoyable when you are free from the crutch of alcohol. Great post!
Great post. I definitely drank in college, but then my senior year, it got really old for me. I hated the way I would feel after I drank and didn’t want to do it to my body anymore. I occasionaly have a drink or two now and again, but nothing extreme!
Don’t worry, I’m a boring married lady and I’m 23. Ouch.
I love this post. I was just thinking about drinking on the way home this morning…and how even though I still enjoy it, it’s losing its appeal. I feel like society says you’re supposed to drink a lot in college, and while alcohol has helped me not to be so uptight about life in general, I don’t think that getting in the habit of binge drinking four nights a week is a good one. Fortunately for me, I’m a huge lightweight, so it’s easy to cut myself off after three drinks, which is what I try to keep it under! I have to say though, that I’m kind of looking forward to growing up a bit more and doing less alcohol-centered activities once I graduate…
Wow, great post! I think so many people go through the same type of stages. You just finally realize that partying isn’t for you anymore and you grow up. I was the same way and I lost some friends. But you know what? Friends aren’t always meant to stay in your life forever. I cherish the friendships I had during those times and let it be and enjoy the ones I have now. Even if the friends I have now drink, they don’t give me a hard time for not doing it. I know how to have fun in so many other ways, I love it!
I feel like I knew a lot of the “facts” about your life and partying, but never the in-betweens and details. Thank you for being brave enough to share this. Yep, I said brave, which you are!
Partying is actually a pretty relevant topic for me right now. Indirectly it affects my life. Dealing with chronic pain has led to me living a life not conducive to partying life of my friends. The biggest reason is timing: I’m crashing when they’re getting ready to go. I do feel like I can still go out and party without using substances (alcohol or drugs). I get judged sometimes, but that’s other peoples’ problem, not mine.
I definitely did some experimenting when I was younger, and while I’m glad it happened, I’m not eager to return to it.
Interesting topic for sure!
i love that you said that is other peoples’ problem, not yours. you win. also, i am glad it happened to me, too! i have a much more open mind.
now you know i’m a boozehound on many days of the week, but i still appreciated this post so much. i didn’t start drinking until my sophomore year of college and have watched my relationship with alcohol change over time… first, it was a social lubricant, which is helpful when you’re shy and single ;) now it’s something i truly enjoy – i love wine with dinner and am crazy about drinking super fancy cocktails every once in awhile. i do admit that i struggle with my all or nothing kind of attitude with drinking, in that once i start it’s super hard for me to stop. that said, i realize that i over do it VERY often (like last night for example – i feel like absolute trash today). part of it is being young and stupid, i guess, and taking the enjoyment to a ridiculous level. that said, i enjoyed reading your mature look on this and do feel that i’ll tone down my drinking a bit, but for now i enjoy it :) i think the key is knowing how to have fun without booze, and i KNOW i’m capable of that, so i think i’m in a good place.
I really appreciated reading this post & everyone’s comments. I know it’s just a transition period in my life and I do have an amazing boyfriend who is very supportive. I’m sure I will continue to have drinks here and there (I’m a sucker for warm weather & beer!). It’s that magic word of moderation. I know that I respect my body a lot more now than I did a few years ago. I look back and wonder how I got drunk and ate taco bell several times per week!
Excellent post! I am bookmarking it to share. I know some people in their prime par-taying years right now. Funny you posted this. . .a good friend and I were having a very similar conversation just today.
I definitely have “been there, done that.” Got the t-shirt, and yeah, the shot glass, too. Ha!
For me, the turning point was realizing that:
a). I’d rather spend the money I had once spent on going out, and yes, cocktails, on taking Yoga classes. It was simply a matter of priorities. It suddenly seemed ridiculous that I’d trade in my time, money, and most importantly, energy, on something that was a fleeting pleasure at best. For the same money or less, I got so much more out of Yoga and gym time. Such classes and sessions were an investment in me that gave me exponentially increasing returns, while drinking was mainly diminishing returns. Not to mention draining, bloating, and pricey! When money was tight, and the choice was between taking Yoga and going out, the balance eventually tipped irrevocably in favor of the Yoga.
b). Let’s be honest. As we get older, we don’t recover like we used to. The loss of productivity and the feeling icky were no longer worth it to me. Plus, it straight up got booooriing!
Here’s the thing; I’m not a teetotaller. I can honestly take it or leave it. And nowadays, it just feels best to mainly leave it. :-)
Thanks again for a great post!
Btw, Love the “even the dogs were drinking.” That got a big LOL from me.
Amazing post Janetha! I just read this one and the BFL trackback posts too! You are such an inspiration! Your B&A pics and the way you talk about the program makes me want to give BFL a shot! I’m a healthy eater and I try to stay active as best I can, but I’ve not been following any kind of plan and I can tell that that’s what I need…both for meal planning and for exercise!
In my freshman year of college, I was balls-to-the-wall party girl and I got in a lot of trouble. Falling behind in my classes, showing up late to work, getting caught in my dorm with booze…you name it! I’m actually lucky to have never been put on academic probation during my party days. My saving grace? I got strep throat…and not just any case of strep throat, the worst I had ever had in my life! We’re talking steroid shots just to take the swelling down so I could swallow! I ended up going back to my parents house for about a week to recover. When I finally got back to school, I got my head on straight and buckled down to try to save what was left of my semester. I actually brought all my grades, but one (one class had to be sacrificed) and ended the semester on a much better note. After seeing how much work it was to make up for my partying, I really didn’t see how it was worth it to keep the partying up. I did lose a few “friends” when I settled down, but I’ve never regretted it. Heck, at the rate I was going before, I’d probably have ended up as a college drop-out and an alcoholic! How could you ever regret not becoming that?!
I loved this post girl! I don’t drink but sometimes I start to think “well…” but I know God does not want me to do it for a reason! I’m so happy you got your life on track with a good husband, support! and a good healthy body!!
I’m a first year in college and I have yet to go to a party. It’s not that I don’t want to but the people I don’t, don’t drink or party. I would like to go to have that experience and just to see what it is like, but part of it for me is laziness as well, I don’t want to walk all the way down to the party area at my school. I sometimes feel left out of these experiences but I also know that I still have 3 years so maybe it won’t get old sooner since I didn’t start early. In fact, i’m 18 and I still haven’t ever drank alcohol not that I’m against it, I just think I rather have frozen yogurt calories than crappy tasting beer calories.
Great post! Thanks so much for sharing all of this Janetha!
It is hard to transition like this sometimes because we tend to grow at different speeds than others. When I finally decided to was going to make the change in my life and get healthy (I dropped almost 60 pounds), I started by cutting out alcohol. My friends did not understand my new dedication to my health, to working out, to wanting to eat healthier.
It was hard and it hurt my heart, but I found that the ones that were my true friends loved and supported me through anything. The ones that try and keep you from becoming the best you that you can possibly be, well, those are the ones you need to drop anyways. Of course, I say this after the fact…hind sight is 20/20, right?
I am thankful to say that I still have a lot of those friends in my life, and I’ve also met lots of new people that share my healthy interests. I’ve kept my weight off (all but about 5-7 lbs) for 6 years. I’m better because of it. I still drink on occasion, but it isn’t like I used to.
I’m also an Indianapolis resident…I actually work for the Indiana Tobacco Prevention and Cessation Agency (I’m also a Group Fitness Instructor at Lifetime Fitness). Indiana is SO behind on the smoking laws. Every year they are trying to get rid of our agency. It is a very sad thing. I love going to Chicago and anywhere that I can enjoy smoke free air!
Kristen
indianapolis
What a fab post Janetha! I have never been a drinker….I have tried it of course but it’s just not my thing. I have a pretty weird and wild personality so I never need to add alcohol to have a good time. I used to go out to clubs 5 nights a week for YEARS but I am now pretty much a homebody and, like you, enjoy hanging out with my boyfriend (husband) and dogs rather than partying.
I have a couple of questions for you: Did you serve alcohol at your wedding? Does Marshall not drink because he is mormon or he just doesn’t like it? I am fascinated by different religions and the way they operate. In Australia, people are not very religious and the only “exposure” I have to the mormon religion is the TV show “Big Love”! From reading your blog, seeing pics of your family, etc I now know the show does not depict reality! :-)
Thanks for sharing your story! xx
This is such an amazing post. I am so proud of the person you have become and got to witness it first hand during the transition phase. I am sorry I ever doubted you and thought you became obsessive. I was honestly just a little jealous at your determination and result. I am extremely proud of you and your decisions you’ve made today. You are such an amazing human being and I am getting teary-eyed just typing this! You are someone to lead by example and inspire me to take better care of my health and body. I haven’t made leaps and bounds like you have, but you are my true inspiration to focus on my health and what genuinely makes me happy. Anyone that is lucky enough to know you, would probably say the exact same thing. You are an inspiration, not just for health and fitness, but an inspiration for determination and making goals and sticking to them! living with you were some of the best years of my life. I want you to know that I am SO PROUD of you and the woman you have become, and continue to become. xoxoxoxo Thanks for this post. Really made my day to read it and tugged my damn heart strings that you are so happy and have so much determination :)